Of the Utmost Importance, Vol. XL

The House that Insanity Built

Moderator: Emperor

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Should we shave Soylent Daveage?

Yes.
4
67%
No.
2
33%
 
Total votes: 6
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Ryokuro
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Jade Star

Mon Mar 26, 2018 6:50 pm

As we have reached the 40th of these polls, I feel it is worth revisiting an early and incredibly consequential decision we all made: Giving Soylent Daveage an incredibly stupid haircut.

That is, of course, the now-infamous haircut that Gary Oldman wore in The Fifth Element. Not only did this choice wind up adorning SoyDave's head, but it also found a spot alongside "Constrictor (He's really good!)" as a running gag. SoyDave was initially eager to play along and even self-inflicted the haircut on himself, but he has recently expressed some distress about its influence over him:
Soylent Daveage wrote:
Tue Mar 13, 2018 10:26 pm
GET ME OUT OF THIS HAIRCUT! Its making me do things... Terrible, twisted things...
So this week's choice is a simple one: Do we perform the dark rituals necessary to free Soylent Daveage from his follicular bondage? Or do we allow him to sink even deeper into madness and potentially into an untapped source of tremendous evil?
Beware, beware the Daughter of the Sea...
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KilljoyBob
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Mon Mar 26, 2018 7:54 pm

Well, we do have a bad habit of creating our own enemies, so I feel in this case we should play it safe. Let's shave that thing off his head before it turns him into a threat. I'd hate to have to kill him.
:devil: MY JUSTICE TASTES LIKE APPLES!
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Chaomancer Omega
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Tue Mar 27, 2018 1:29 am

I'll be perfectly honest: even without the context of history, I'd be voting "yes".
Sometimes I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast. Often my breakfast itself encompasses four of them.
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Ogre_Minstrel
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Tue Mar 27, 2018 3:43 am

I say its not worth the risk, Who knows what the haircut would do if freed from the limiting factor of being attached to SoyDave. He's probably the only thing that's keeping us alive.

Sorry Dave, but... its you or us, pal.
Signatures. How quaint.
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Ryokuro
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Tue Mar 27, 2018 4:06 am

Image
Beware, beware the Daughter of the Sea...
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Soylent Daveage
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Wed Mar 28, 2018 4:51 am

*Soylent Daveage stares around with eyes as empty as one of Aaron's kegs after a weekend of football

No, the haircut should stay. Its fine... Look at how thick and luxurious it is... You guys should all get one too...

*He shakes his head and his eyes seem to brighten up

Sorry, what were we talking about?
Until next time, this Has-Been's

Soylent Daveage

The food group of the FUTURE!


Proudly mis-managing the Melbourne Mudkips.
Gooooo MUDKIPS!
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Ryokuro
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Mon Apr 02, 2018 6:51 pm

Ryokuro sneaks behind Soylent and zips the haircut away with an electric razor.

I thought about doing the whole "Hold him down!" thing, but then the Evil would have known we were coming, then would have completely taken over your body and we'd have a long, destructive battle in the streets ending in some bizarre scheme to knock you out by blasting Beck's "Devil's Haircut" at 160dB...but...well...eh.
Beware, beware the Daughter of the Sea...
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Soylent Daveage
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Wed Apr 04, 2018 10:10 am

*Soylent Daveage picks himself up off the ground

Where? Where is it? Where did it go?

Don't let it escape, it will try to take control of some one else! It was all I could do to stop it making awful, awful movies! The plots made no sense! The casting was woeful! It just wanted all the movies to be haircuts. No barbers, just haircuts... Everywhere the camera looked there would be coifs galore...
Until next time, this Has-Been's

Soylent Daveage

The food group of the FUTURE!


Proudly mis-managing the Melbourne Mudkips.
Gooooo MUDKIPS!
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KilljoyBob
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Wed Apr 04, 2018 11:37 am

KilljoyBob chases the hair with a dog catcher's net on a long pole, while Yakkity-Sax plays.
:devil: MY JUSTICE TASTES LIKE APPLES!
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Ryokuro
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Wed Apr 04, 2018 4:40 pm

Ryokuro straps on a proton pack.

I'm assuming this thing is a ghost. Like...ghost hair. That's a thing, right?
Beware, beware the Daughter of the Sea...
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Soylent Daveage
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Thu Apr 05, 2018 4:12 am

Think of it more like an incredibly vicious raccoon that wants to eat your brains and wear you like a suit...
Until next time, this Has-Been's

Soylent Daveage

The food group of the FUTURE!


Proudly mis-managing the Melbourne Mudkips.
Gooooo MUDKIPS!
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Ryokuro
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Thu Apr 05, 2018 5:24 am

Ryokuro throws the proton pack in the trash.

I know what a raccoon is, Dave. You don't have to explain it to me...
Beware, beware the Daughter of the Sea...
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Chaomancer Omega
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Thu Apr 05, 2018 5:25 am

Either way, I find that being hit by a proton beam is good for destroying most things...
Sometimes I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast. Often my breakfast itself encompasses four of them.
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Ryokuro
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Thu Apr 05, 2018 5:59 am

Yeah, but they didn't call them Raccoonbusters now did they? There's no point in lugging around that thing if I'm not capturing a phantasm.
Beware, beware the Daughter of the Sea...
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KilljoyBob
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Thu Apr 05, 2018 1:14 pm

Total positronic reversal might kill it. Or just make it mad. And you don't want to make any part of a Gary Oldman role mad. It will overact the shit out of you.

Let's just hope it doesn't team up with his dreadlocks from True Romance.
:devil: MY JUSTICE TASTES LIKE APPLES!
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